Recently I have been not too well both physically and mentally. I’ve been on and off different medication, my mental illness is not in a good place and I’ve been trying hard to fight my own mind and body. Not to mention the fact that I was greatly affected by the death of one of my favourite singers of all time, Chester Bennington of Linkin Park. I have been crying and depressed for days, having unwanted thoughts and feelings, and it needs to stop.
Today I wanted to cleanse myself of the energies associated with death. I performed shower misogi and then changed the offerings and lit incense to Inari-Okami. Although incense is often associated with death due to it’s strong ties with Buddhism, it is appropriate for Inari-Okami, being both a Shinto and Buddhist deity. I recited three norito: Inari Daimyojin no Harae (稲荷大明神祓), Inari Norito (稲荷祝詞) and Inari Ōkami Himon (稲荷大神秘文). I then made some personal prayers in English, before asking Inari-Okami to help me choose a tarot card. I asked ‘What message do I need in my life right now?’
The card drawn was the Three of Cups from the Wild Unknown Tarot – one of my absolute favourite decks:
The message I received along with this: ‘You are in the summer of your life, enjoy yourself. Never forget that family and friends are important and you must keep in contact as often as you can. Realize that others depend on you as much as you do them, you need to meet the effort half way. Recognize the love and support all around you – there is no shame in feeling closer to friends that blood relatives. You are a wonderful person, caught in a snare of emotion – as you spend time with people this will slowly dissolve and you will once again be able to fly.’
This message means a lot to me as I suffer from severe social anxiety and find it difficult to meet up with anyone. I should remember that it is never as bad as I think it’ll be and that Inari-Okami has my back. I have many omamori I can take with me too, for an added boost.
I am also visiting my family in Wales this week and I am very anxious about travelling there and seeing them. I find it hard to keep my disorder under control, especially under overwhelming social pressure. But I know I can do it – Inari-Okami will be there for me. And of course, I will take my travel shrine with me – I will make a post on this in the future, if you guys would be interested in seeing it.
I feel a lot more uplifted and there is certainly less weight on my shoulders now. I look forward to seeing my family, and my friends in the near future.